I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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