the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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