you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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