you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
