tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
