I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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