So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
