are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize