Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
