I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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