I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i think im in europe. pls send help
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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