Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize