I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
