Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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