i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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