Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize