drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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