wat bout pragnant strippers??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You left your phone here
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