I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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