My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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