I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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