He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
