Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I need a beard to bite.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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