if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i believe in u and ur pee
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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