stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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