The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
