This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just googled if crying burns calories
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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