I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
