I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
