Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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