i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
