I look better un-naked...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
