i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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