drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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