watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize