You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
