Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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