There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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