also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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