Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
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