you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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