She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
