My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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