It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
