it was like his penis was on wheels.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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