I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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