my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
