my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
