My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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