did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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