Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.