3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
50% drunk capacity currently
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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