Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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