Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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