Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
