Porn is love you can see.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
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Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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