4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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