I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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