p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
