He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
