I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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