North Korea, Best Korea!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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