i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I love having hate sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
