My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
